God The Father

It seems like we hear a lot about God, the Father.  We talk about His love, His protection and His provision.  But we don’t talk much about the Father as a teacher, or disciplinarian. 

What are fathers like?  They love us, they provide for us, try to keep us safe, protect us, and teach us.  Fathers are, ideally, our protector, teacher, guide, encourager, disciplinarian, boss, wise, caring, and strong, and the ones that love us unconditionally.  They correct us when we are wrong.  They train us on how to go through life, relationships, and daily things like riding a bike, driving a car, getting a job, balancing a checking account, etc. 

Are they perfect?  No.  Would we want them to give us everything we ask for whether it is good for us or not?  Sometimes, maybe, but when we are realistic, the answer is no.

So why do we think that God never says no, or corrects us?  And do we realize that He sometimes disciplines us when we do things wrong?  He even trains us which can be hard but necessary.  There are some things that you can only learn by going through them.  You can’t learn them from a book or by just talking about it.  Experience is the great teacher. 

And about God saying no - at times maybe we do not even realize God is saying no.  Is this where we sometimes think that God is not answering our prayers, because the answer is not what we are expecting or hoping for?  Are there times when God is silent?  I think so.   Usually there is something that He is showing me like waiting on Him or I find that I am seeking Him in a new way.

So how do we respond when God is disciplining us, or says no?  We can get offended, we can withdraw, we can be hurt because our teachings of a loving Father and Provider doesn’t allow for the response of "no" from God.  OR, we can embrace what God is doing.  We press in to Him and listen to what He is saying in the situation.  We remember that all things work to the good of those who love Him.  So whether I understand everything, I can trust that it is working something good in me. 

We can get so wrapped up in this life that we forget that there is an eternity and that God is working something in us eternal.  This is an amazing thought that there is something so precious that God wants to do in you and me.  It’s not haphazard.  There is something to it.  Remember that God’s desire is to have relationship with us, for us to work with Him, and to become like Jesus.  This doesn’t happen by just reading His word, or going to church.  This is a transformative work.  Yes, God’s word is powerful, but we need to embrace it’s work in us. 

Recently, there was a life and death situation for a friend's 14-month old daughter.  Prayer was asked for in this situation.  I noticed at times it seemed like people were quoting whatever scripture came to mind.  At one point, I think one reply mentioned around 11 scriptures.  I am not saying that the person was wrong in their use of scriptures.  Only God knows what scriptures were needed at the time to help the family in the situation.  But what it did was prick my heart and made me think "why". 

Are we afraid that if we don’t quote the right one, God won’t answer?  I don’t want to discourage prayer or discount praying God’s word.  I believe praying God's word is powerful.  But I want us to take a second to listen to the Holy Spirit and what He is saying in the situation.  I know I have had conversations with God, that I told Him that I know what my flesh wanted to see happen; how I think it should end up.  I could even quote a scripture that would back it up.  But I don’t know the future.  Only God knows.  He knows what is best for me better than I do. 

How do I know this?  Because I've done this and I've struggled with knowing that my desire was clouding my view of what God was trying to tell me. 

An example is Richard’s stroke.  God could heal Him and restore Him completely.  But when he was diagnosed prior to having any strokes, God said that he will be okay.  And now, over 8 years later when the stroke happened,  I questioned what God told me.  And God answered me and corrected me that it would be okay but it would not look like how I was thinking it should look.  Comforting but also disconcerting at the same time. 

As time goes on, I see more and more what God is doing.  There is a reason that we are going through this season.  I will continue to press in for healing and restoration according to His word, but I also look for what God is teaching us in this season.  And I am seeing God in a new way, seeing another facet of His love and desire for us.  So, although God desires that we would be healed, He is not healing Richard at this time.  Even though his condition can cause multiple strokes, he has had multiple TIAs but no more strokes according to recent tests.  Since Sep 2017, God is the only reason there has been no more strokes.  It doesn't mean that this has been easy, but it shows God is intimately involved in the situation. 

I heard a speaker make a statement that intercession is telling God what God told us to tell Him.  This makes so much sense.  Daniel prayed for the return to Israel because he read scriptures of what God said would happen in 70 years and it was 70 years later.  God wants us to work with Him.  In relationships, you don’t want one person doing all the work and the other just sitting on the sidelines watching.  The person watching also wants to have some input and action.  The other person also wants to know you want to be with them on this. 

The life and death  situation with the young child also showed something else.  We normally expect an immediate miracle.  But sometimes, I think the miracle is also in the process.  This current situation reminded of another life and death situation of a friend years ago.  The family was told there was no hope and to call in family from out of town because she was dying.  This is when God taught me to ask Him what He was doing.  I wanted to know if I was to pray for life or for comfort for the family.  God said she would live.  I prayed that and told her family what I believed.  I didn't know it until afterwards that a couple of other friends knew she wasn't going to die because they knew of promises that God had made to her and that had not been fulfilled yet. 

Against the odds (I think it was maybe 10% if that) that she would live, she did live.  It was a slow recovery.  She spent weeks in the hospital and rehab, but she fully recovered.  She has an amazing testimony of what God did during that time, and God is using her in mighty ways today.

So now in the current situation while praying, I felt God telling me to share this with my friend for her situation.  l told her about the process for my other friend some years ago and that God did do a miracle.  And I believed that God is doing the same with her daughter.  I believed God was saying she would live and to not be discouraged if it didn't happen immediately.  And the daughter who was dead but revived, lived.  And slowly, day by day, miracle by miracle, she is recovering and healing.   

Against all odds she not only lived but was restored despite what the doctors told her parents which was to prepare for the funeral, even after she had been revived.  During the weeks at the hospital, many people saw, sometimes overnight, a miracle in her recovery.  Doctors said she couldn't see; the next day she was tracking with her eyes.  She could only sit up one day for 10 seconds with assistance and the next day she sat up for 45 minutes by herself during physical therapy.  There were so many things that happened, encouraging everyone that was praying for her and those that were treating her.  After 2 months, every doctor she has seen since being released has stated she is 100% - despite what the tests showed and what the doctors originally diagnosed.  

In all this good news, we can ask the question, why did this happen in the first place to people who love and serve God?  Why did they have to go through this?  Do I have the answer?  No.  But I understand that God is doing something in our lives that we don't always understand at the time.  But there is something of eternal significance that He is doing.  And this is where knowing God, the Father, helps.  He is loving and He is also concerned with teaching us and training us.  He protects us but sometimes it is only in the doing of things or going through something that we really learn and are transformed.  So I can say with full confidence that "we know that all things work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28. 

If, as parents, we protect our child from ever falling down; how will they learn to pick themselves up?  If we just talk to them about driving a car and they read all the books on driving a car, they will never truly learn to drive a car - only by doing it. 

This applies to things God wants us to learn.  We can read the Bible and listen to all kinds of messages, but if we do not apply these things or go through things where we need to use this knowledge, we really do not know how to do it. 

There is a saying I have heard and have repeated in the past about not asking God for patience because you will be put in situations trying your patience.  I don't say that anymore.  Because the truth is, only being in situations that try your patience, will you learn patience.  You have to exercise it.  So now I find myself asking God for things with the knowledge that it may hurt and be hard, but I want what He wants for me.  And I know that He will be with me every step of the way. 

And one more thing, He is cheering me on.  He is not going to give up and say that she will never get it.  He is my encourager.  Telling me that He knows that I can do it.  I can do all things through Christ.

Lessons Learned

I can’t believe it has been so long since I have written anything.  So many things have happened.  I guess the biggest thing was a year ago when my husband had a moderate stroke.  It was but also wasn't a surprise.

  

We had known since 2009 that he had a genetic condition that causes strokes called CADASIL.  The family found this out because his older sister started having multiple strokes at age 50.  Her doctors ended up doing genetic tests to discover the cause which resulted in the diagnosis of a hereditary genetic defect.

We discovered Richard had the same defect and prayed about this. I believed that everything would be okay.  I put my faith in God and knew that only He knew the future and all I could do was trust Him.  I know that we have been blessed in that we have had 8 years without the issues that his sister has had.  

So when the stroke happened, I questioned God.  I had thought everything would be okay and that it meant that we would not have to deal with this stroke issue.  I guess I thought the answer to my prayer was that he would have no strokes ever.   

After this stroke, in the midst of my crying out to God and praying, God spoke to me that it will be 

okay, just not how I think it should look.  In a way, not too comforting.  Definitely, not the answer I was looking for.  We want things to be okay - job, finances, relationships, home, family.  

We tend to think that God's answers to our prayers look like we want them to look like.  Sometimes we think of being blessed by God means we have no issues.  But that is not quite what God means.  

When Richard had the stroke, the doctor asked how this one compared to the previous 3 strokes.  This took us both by surprise.  What strokes?  It took some time, but I realized that although Richard had this stroke, God was working during the previous years so that we didn't even know that he had had other strokes since they had caused no complications.

Also, during the past year I have suffered physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I am still dealing with pain from the car accidents, but now I am the one that has to take care of the house, yard, finances, everything.  Richard tries to help but is limited which puts more on me which increases my physical pain.  Richard has mobility issues now, and suffers with back pain made worse by the stroke effecting his gait.  But, I am thankful that at least he can walk with a walker, he can talk, and has use of his hands, arms and legs.  But he does suffer a lot of headaches.  He also has had multiple TIAs so we never know from day to day how his day is going to be. 

Emotionally, it has been hard seeing the person you love, dealing with this drastic change in his life.  I understand because I went through I lot of this when I became disabled after a car accident and could no longer work.  The same with Richard.  He was working one night, and during his shift, he had a stroke that has prevented him from being able to work.  All I can do is help him the best I can and encourage him.  Our value is not in what we are able to do but in who we are.  Our physical limitations do not define us.

What was really hard during this time period was that I have felt so alone at times.  I have friends, but it became an issue that I felt I couldn’t share with others what I was going through.  I was told by well-meaning Christians that I didn’t have faith or at least not the right kind of faith.  I was also told I wasn’t where I needed to be with God.  I thank God that when this particular incident happened, I had just had a time with God where He told me how much He loved us and encouraged me that He was walking us through this and it would be okay.  In another incident I was told that if I just praised God, everything would be fine.  I was told I was lacking hope.  I know that they meant well and thought that it was helpful or godly advice.  But what I can tell you is that God confirmed over and over again that what was being said was not from Him.   

I think its hard for people to know what to say or to pray because they  don’t understand what God is doing in times of trials, struggles, problems, seasons, chastenings or whatever you want to call it.  We want the mountain top experience and for everything to be going as we would like it - finances, jobs, family all going along with no issues.  We think serving God is happiness and peace. 

But we forget that Jesus says that we will have troubles.  And yet God promises joy.  Joy you can have in hard times and good times or even in times of loss.  If we look in the Bible, God uses these hard times to work something good in our lives.  Job is a well-known example, but also look at Joseph, David, and the apostles.  There are a lot of examples.  If we get a clearer view of God and His purposes in our lives, we can better pray and encourage our brother and sisters in Christ during hard times. 

We have to be careful not to judge our fellow Christians.  Too many times, we try to explain it as sin, that there is something wrong with them or their walk.  This can lead people to not share their struggles and become discouraged and feel that God has abandoned them.  Or they do not have people to help them and strengthen them because they feel they can’t be open about what is going on. 

Another easy explanation is to blame everything on an attack by Satan.  The problem with that is that we then don’t do a honest examination of ourselves to see if there is something in us that is hindering God’s work in our lives.

Sometimes it is an issue that God is wanting to deal with in a person’s life.  For example, there could be an issue of pride that they need to deal with, but we are not helping them by judging them.  We have to be careful and talk with them in love and humility.  It is very important to seek God in this area so that we don’t hinder what God is doing by being accusatory and/or causing an offense.  

One of the things that I noticed is that we tend to put God in a box.  We tend to judge things based on our past experiences.  So if God worked in this one way in our lives, then it has to be that God is working exactly the same way in the other person's life.  It is true that we go through things and we are to share our experiences and help people through similar circumstances. 

But to say that God always does something in the exact way each time or that God never does something in a certain way is misleading on our part.  God is infinite and no two of us are alike.  Don’t you think that God is creative and can come up with a myriad of ways to accomplish His goals.  

The only thing that we can truly say that is always true is that God is who He is.  He is loving, merciful, forgiving, faithful, just, righteous.  He can also never do anything that is against His character. 

Let me give an example.  If I have back pain, and God has shown me that I have unforgiveness towards someone, then anyone that I come in contact with that has back pain, I may be tempted to tell them that they have unforgiveness.  That all they have to do is repent and forgive that person and their back pain will go away.  But could it be a physical issue needing healing, an attack or something else?  Did I even ask God if that is what they need?  Or did God just use the back pain in my particular instance to get my attention on something He was wanting me to deal with?

Another common way that we put God in this sort of box is that we pray specific scriptures for certain issues.  I definitely believe in praying God’s word and that it is powerful.  But it seems at times that we have gotten so comfortable with just quoting these scriptures that we leave God out of the process.  It’s like we say," God I’ve got this, I don’t need to clear it with you.  I know it, and I know the scriptures." 

But only God knows the heart and mind of each person.  Our circumstances may be similar, but what is God’s purpose in these circumstances? 

The question to help us know what is going on is whether God is delivering us from the circumstance, or through the circumstance, or by the circumstance?  Sometimes, God removes the circumstance.  Sometimes, He walks us through the circumstance.  Sometimes, God uses the circumstance to bring us to Him.

When I had the accident in 2006, I prayed for healing.  I felt that God told me that I would go through this, and that He would be with me every step of the way.  I then asked that no matter what happened that God would be glorified.  I didn’t know that I would still be dealing with this 12 years later, but He has been faithful.  Some trials or circumstances (whatever you want to call it) are quick and some last a long time  Only God knows how long. 

When I would ask for healing, I kept hearing "not yet."  Although God had said not yet, I would still contend for healing according to His word that He desires that we would be healed.  

A few years ago, God said that He is healing me.  And He has, just not physically yet.  He has done such a work in my heart.  He has healed so many emotional and spiritual wounds.  It’s hard to explain, but I know that I couldn’t have gone through this any other way. 

I am so thankful for His love and guidance.  I understand so much more the scripture that states "knowing that tribulation produces perseverance, and perseverance, character; and character, hope" Romans 5:3-4. It is amazing the way He has healed me and shown His love, which has deepened my love for Him. 

A lesson to be learned from all this is to make sure when we talk to someone about how to handle a situation that they are dealing with, that we know what God is doing.  Be careful to not rely on our own knowledge of the situation. Take time to seek God.

Another lesson is that God doesn’t "always" or "never" do things a certain way.  He is infinite and our situations are also individual.  Just because God responded in one way to you doesn’t mean He will only respond in that one way to everyone else. 

Also, saying a specific prayer is not the answer.  God is not a puppet that we can force by saying a certain scripture and then He will have to do exactly what we expect.  We don’t realize that that this is how we are treating God, but think about it.  Sometimes we at like all we have to do is say the right words and God will do what we have asked.  Or if we do this certain thing, pray for 30 minutes every day, fast, whatever that we will get the answer we want.  We are trying to control God. 

Should we pray, Yes.  Should we fast, Yes.  But it's about the heart of the matter.  It's about working with God.  It's about having a relationship with God and working with God for His will to be done.

We sometimes view our trials and the purpose of the trials based on the results/blessings that we receive afterwards.   If you are in financial trouble then the results/blessing must be God providing the funds needed with the purpose increasing our faith and obedience.  But what if we don't get the funds?  Then what do we do; what do we think?  Do we think that God doesn't care or that there is something wrong with us?  

How many times have I thought that God did this for others but He isn't doing it for me?  I thought erroneously that God didn't value me. 

But what if the purpose wasn't for us to get this financial miracle, this blessing?  What if it is God transforming something in us that would make us more like Jesus.  What if the testimony isn't the blessing/result, but the work that God did in us because He loves us so much?  This is a blessing, result and testimony of eternal significance, not just for the physical here and now.  He is more concerned with working something good in us for eternity than a temporary blessing now. 

Is He working in us patience, mercy, love, perseverance, faith, hope, etc?  The part of this for me is that He has been working on me knowing my identity in Him.

Let Our Response Be Love

It has been a sad couple of weeks and I guess it's time I share my thoughts.  Orlando is my home.  I grew up there, went to church on Orange Avenue and was married in the church that is just a few blocks from Pulse.  When we moved back to Orlando when my husband retired from the Air Force, we ended up going to a church that later moved into the same church that I had grown up in.  Although I live outside of Orlando now, it is still my home place. 

What happened early that Sunday morning is a tragedy.  Although I do not know anyone personally that was directly affected, my heart has grieved for the families that lost loved ones or have loved ones that were injured.  It seems that there are a lot of things on the internet and in the news looking to place the blame somewhere.  We know the man who did it and his allegiance to ISIS.  But there is a lot of blame being placed on guns, the people who previously investigated this man, the government, and some have tried to blame it on the victims themselves.  And what gets me is when  some say it is punishment or they try to preach their religious doctrine.  This is all distractions from the fact that an evil person did an evil thing.

What we need right now is love.  Not hate, not arguing the theological reasons.  We need to get to the basics that Jesus taught  - To love each other as He loves us.  The God I serve loves them.  If Jesus was here, He would not label them or separate himself from them.  He would meet with them, love them.  We should do what we can to help them during this time of loss and grief.  Jesus died on the cross for each and every one of them.  Let us not forget that that is how much he loves them AND how much he loves us.    

Let us mourn with those who have lost a dear family member or friend.  Let us help them carry this burden.  And to those that survived the carnage, we that weren't there cannot truly say we understand, but we can be there for them to lean on, to talk to, to cope with the drastic change that has happened in their lives.  We don't have to have the answers (especially when there is no answer), but to be there for them without judgment on who they are or how they are feeling.  There is no "right" way that each person should react and feel.  As we are all unique, so are our responses and actions when something horrible happens.  The only thing that I can say is the "right" thing for us to do is to love - love as God loves, without limitations, with pure love, love that would lay down your life for another.

I love the fact that the church just a few blocks from Pulse opened its door from the beginning for the first responders to come and find shelter or to get a brief respite from the scene.  The church provided food for them, a place of sanctuary and privacy, and prayer.  They have shown love to all those involved.  That is what the church should be.  That is truly being like Jesus, and most importantly like His heart. 

For  me, the answer as to why this took place is that we had an evil man do an evil thing.  If he hadn't used a gun, he could have used something else to accomplish his ends.  We can never completely create a safe place that nothing bad can happen.  Not saying that we don't try, but it is unrealistic to say that bad things will never happen.  What we can do is turn to the One who holds the future, who loves us and who carries us through these times when we cannot carry ourselves.

Let us keep our focus on God and rely on His strength.  Remember that each one effected by this tragedy is one of a kind.  The ones that were lost that day were unique and beautiful.  They can never be replaced.  Let's remember them and pray for the ones that they left behind as they deal with their loss.  And pray for all the workers, the police officers, fire fighters and all the other numerous people involved as they deal with what they saw. 

Again, let us remember God's amazing, unfathomable love.  For God so loved the world (that is each and every person that has lived, is living now, or will live), that He (God the Father) gave His only Son (Jesus), that whosoever (any person, not based on background, heritage, race, anything) believes in Him (Jesus) should not perish (not just physical death but spiritual death, separation from God, eternity in Hell) but have everlasting life (life with God, no sorrow, no more pain, no more death but fullness of joy and love in God's presence).  For God did not send his Son (Jesus) into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.  Jesus died because He loves you and me and wants to have relationship with those He loves.  The" might be saved" is that it is our choice to receive Jesus' sacrifice and to be with Him.

In my opinion, Jesus is not condemning the people.  When He met with the Samaritan woman, He told her the true way to God.  He did not condemn her because of her lifestyle and went on without talking to her.   He told her the truth about the only living God, God's love, and God's plan to save people.  There is no other way to God, no other religion that will get you to heaven.  It is only by the love of God and the sacrifice of Jesus.  So let's speak of God's love and His truth.  What would Jesus want - To LOVE them, wanting them to receive His gift of salvation, and for them to love Him back.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.   For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.  John 3:16-17